Nine Tenths of the Law

About:  Nine Tenths of the Law

Author: Kiernan Kelly

Word Count: 7,258

Page Count (pdf): 22

ISBN:  n/a

Price: .69

Pairing: m/m

Series: no

Genre: fantasy

Date Published: Originally published in Haunted Hotties anthology, Torquere Press, 10/15

Publisher: Evil Plot Bunny, LLC

Heat Rating: 

File Types available: pdf, epub, mobi

Summary:  Oliver discovers something very odd about his favorite sex toy — it’s haunted.


Greenwich Apartments

Present Day

 My butt plug is possessed.

No, seriously, it is. Stop laughing. It’s not funny. Okay, maybe it is — a little — but not so much when the butt plug is yours, and in use when it makes its big reveal, for fuck’s sake.

Until that day it was as ordinary a sex toy as any. I kept it in the top drawer of my nightstand along with the lube, tissues, extra batteries, condoms, dildos, and assorted other paraphernalia I might or might not have needed during sex either with or without a partner. Usually without, by the way. Sad, I know, but that’s neither here nor there. The important thing is the butt plug.

The haunted one.

As I said, it’s a basic model, four inches long, red in color, with a single-speed vibrating option. It doesn’t have any other bells or whistles. Doesn’t light up, have a USB port, play music, make coffee, or predict lottery numbers. Its sole purpose is to plug whatever ass it’s inserted into, which is usually mine since I rarely bring anyone home, and even less often use my toys on them when I do.

There is no earthly reason why it should suddenly start talking to me, but it did, and in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Alan Rickman’s.