About Love Dot Com
Author: Julia Talbot
Word Count: 10088
Page Count (pdf): 36
Date Published: 01/15/2016 (newest edition)
Publisher: Turtlehat Creatives
File Types available: PDF, mobi, epib
Note: This is a previously published title. The publisher has changed.
Virgil and Willie have both had it with the dating scene. Virgil because he keeps getting these big macho guys who want to be his sugar daddy, Willie because he feels like a dork in a herd of suave, hot guys. So it’s a happy coincidence when they both decide to place a computer personal ad, and manage to find each other. They have a lot in common. They’re both computer geeks, both a little shy, and both needing exactly what they find together. Thank goodness for love dot come style.
Author note: This book was written early in the e-dating game. Please bear with anything outdated.
The phone was ringing as Virgil let himself into his tiny walk up, and he tripped over Scratch, his dog, as he lunged for the handset.
“Kia? I swear to God if that’s you, I’m going to kill you.”
“Then it’s not me.” His friend sounded amused. Virgil could just picture the evil little half smile on her face. “So I take it the date went not well.”
“Not well is the understatement of the century.” Struggling out of his coat, Virgil leaned down to pet Scratch before moving to the kitchen for a Coke and a bag of M&Ms. Just thinking about the hulking crew-cut blonde with the prehensile eyebrows who wanted to diaper him and call him baby made him shudder.
“He was a freak, Kia.”
“Well, Karl made him sound like such a great guy.”
“Sure, if you like the slightly inhuman, master race type.” When he finally settled at the computer and fired it up, Virgil had all he needed for the night; chocolate, Slim Jims, his dog at his feet and about a gallon of soda.
“You’re so nice. How are you ever going to meet someone if I don’t set you up? You never get out.”
His email yielded a bug in the game program he’d just sent to beta, several offers to enlarge his penis (he needed to redo his filters and check for spyware) and a weekly missive from his mom, who had given up trying to get a hold of him any other way than electronically.
“I don’t know, but I think I’ve given up on you as a matchmaker. Why didn’t you call my cell like you were supposed to anyway? I could have gotten out of the last half-hour of dirty talk and avoidance of hands.”
“Zieg wouldn’t let me.” Zieg was Kia’s boyfriend and Karl’s best friend, Karl being the guy who had recommended the Terminator for a blind date with Virgil.
“Yeah, well, don’t do me anymore favors, okay? I’m going to try an online personals service.”
That sent Kia into a lecture on the evils of online dating, especially in Eden, and how he needed to get away from his computers, not closer to them, blah blah blah. He finally cut her off by telling her she knew more freaks than any online dating service could provide, making her call him asshole and hang up on him.
Happily toeing off his shoes, Virgil settled in for a night of mushing and munching. And he might just place that personal ad, too.
Shot down again. Bang. Willie finished off his root beer and grabbed his jacket. No sense in staying at the club and getting turned down more times than his ego could stand. Jeez, the most happening gay club in Eden and he couldn’t even get a dance.
Yeah, okay, he danced like a bad older brother to Pinocchio, which might mean he had to turn in his gay boy card and take out a double on his geek one, but damn. Three “Oh God, nos” in one night were all he could take.
Heaven knew he wasn’t repulsive. He wasn’t! A little on the skinny side, maybe, and for all of the buff workout queens out there that might be a turn off. His hair might be a little too carrot top, too, but that was why he kept it ruthlessly short. Red and curly made people think of clowns. Maybe he should dye it.
One way or the other, it was time to go home and play with his Sims programs (at least they could get laid) and feed sausage balls to Charlie the iguana and maybe read some Nifty archive, which always made him blush and feel kinda sleazy, but at least it couldn’t turn him down.
Home was a little efficiency in a great complex that had an indoor pool even, and Willie hung up his coat neatly, heading right for the computer. Once it was warming up he let Charlie out and got himself some snacks, ready to settle in and do something he was much more comfortable with than clubbing; surfing.
Opening up his mail, he clicked through delete on several listserve bits, read a forward from his brother, and just happened to see an ad flashing on one side for an online personals service.
Now there was something he’d never tried, and he wondered why. That would be a lot easier, because people could look at his picture and bio and reject him impersonally. He’d never need to know, and he could get to know someone on chat first, maybe, before they went out on a date.
So that was how Willie ended up spending his night composing a singles ad instead of reading porn. Eden was a big place. There had to be someone out there for him somewhere.